Is this how true friends should be??

Am total MAD ANGRY SAD!
Damn Freaking Piss Off.
What the hell u all want?
Am here trying to plan to get together for a dinner. And u guys ruin my day.
Taking the initiative to sms u all. And am soo glad that everyone could make it on fri for a dinner at orchard.

If u don want to meet me for nothing, no stuff to lend, no stuff to return, like today. just SAY IT. You don have to compromise me by coming and treat me like this?

Am already sad that only when u are in need of help, den u come look for me.
Is THat wHat True FRiends are suppose to be??
which wHat u kept trying to emphasize on?
U should know its definitely not.
Instead of making it up cause of guilt, i donno why u could still do this to me?
am not sure what thing make u 2 unhappy about me.
Because am late?
If its the case am late, pls get the facts right, do you know today is friday? Its still a school day. i waited for jf cause he was still busy with his open house thingy.
can u all just be more understanding. Not as if u all had nv been late b4.
And pls think about it, what for i purposely wan to be late when i plan this dinner.
You think i got nth better to do. and we are late for a reason.

Trying to be nice here but yet this is how we are being treated back?!??!
Find it total silly of me, planning all this to make myself mad and sad.
How silly can i still get?

Got hurt times and times, But no one even bothers about this group.
and the worst thing is u are my once closest and also the longest friends in my life.
And just because we are not in the same school anybody.
All of us leading our own life.
But that doesn;t mean we can;t call up or meetup just to hangout together with no other motive.
Why izzit always when i wan to meet you i need to find reasons to meet you. not once i can meet you with no reason. when i tried to meet u, yr reply is " meet me for what?" "with who else? "
tat's why when ever i wan2 meet u i'll find reasons of why i wanna meet u.
cause i know u will for sure reply me this kind of ans.
pls think again.
By looking back..
Are u sure this is true friends?
Or are u trying to say u don't regard me as a close friend at all?
Is meeting me for nothing such a pain?

How come i don't find such problems with my other friend who are also in different school?
We can meet up for nothing and are so happy that we are meeting soon.
Though sometimes we always fly each other plane. But at least we appreciate each others friendship and bother to take turns to meetup.
EVEn for friend in same School NP but different course with different Timetable schedule.
But we do still meetup.

Am always asking myself? Why no one bothers to plan a meetup? are they really that busy?
surely there is one point of time during sch days they are less busier? which they can plan a meetup together. a dinner or to catch a movie.
I guess is u all just don bother, this friendship means nth to you.
Why am i still so dumb to cherish them?!?!?!

after dinner, the 2 of them walking side by side and chatting away while am behind with our friend. luckily there's him. ANd he was not at all cold to me. which am glad at least there is one out of the 3 is still friendly towards me.
About the other 2, they didn't even come make the effort to talk to me.
They treated me as though i don exist at all.

If u 2 are unhappy cause we are late? Can u pls voice out?
And u should be more understanding as we all gt school. Just cause we were 1 hour late. and u are not alone, there's ppl accompanying u. not as if that 1 hr was a period of total torture.
After that i realised that we didn't make u all queue for sushi. is u all who wants to eat sushi.
And yet u sounds like we 2 want to eat and made u queue. Base on yr sms, It tells me this.
1st sms: we queueing up. very nice of us right true friends
2nd sms: we got a seat. table 19. cool right u all don hv to queue can come in like vips

I don feel good after reading the sms. it Made me suddenly not looking forward to meeting u guys.
I know very well that the way u reply is not yr usual normal kind of sms.
Sarcastic is the word to describe.
haiz.. and it was me who plan this dinner for a gathering for our group. but yet i got shot back from them. getting all the pain from what i plan.
1. The stupid sms.
i HATE the way u sms me. yr freaking message is making me feel uncomfortable.
What true friends, VIP and blah blah!?!?
irritates me.

2. it is rude to talk bad about people RIGHT infront of them. chatting away to each other about those persons you are dinning with.
Hello??!?! i am not deaf, mind you.
3. u 2 ignored me after dinner. And yet u 2 can still approach/sms me "what hAPPen to me?what's wrong? why am i not talking? "
Isn't that suppose to me my question to u 2 girls.
Only bother to contact me asking me "where am i ? "just because someone wants to go home and SLeep.

On the way home, I dono why tears start flowing out when am in the bus.
I told myself this is the LAST time am going to ever bother about u guys.
I appreciate those who appreciate me.
and these are the friends am going to appreciate.
Those who don't, am not going to bother anymore.
I wont be so silly to bother , in the end am the one getting hurt.
It only waste my time, effort, tears.

But now i know, i won't feel guilty if ever our friendship vanish cause i did put in effort for our friendships. BUt my effort had gone down the drain.
No regrets Cause i knew i try, And i try more than once,

Did u all even try?
i don see the willingness to try keep our friendship strong

Am too tire to care anymore,
what's more can i still do.
now, there is only one solution which is to Let go.

TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED

If u happens to read this sms,PLS read and think about it.
Am willing to save this relationship if u can prove to me and let me feel that u do care about our friendship. And make it a Real true friendship.